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Humour Pages

Pioneer Humour from
The Pioneer magazine dating from 1943 - 1955

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" ? ? ? "

(Taken from The Pioneer, Issue No 3, August 1943)



" Have you anything for me to do - in my spare time? "

By T Westwood
(Taken from The Pioneer, Issue No 6, December 1945)



" I say, Sarge, guess what's on this notice-board ? "

(Taken from The Pioneer, Issue No 6, December 1945)



" But, Darling ! we always slept this way in the Army."

(Taken from The Pioneer, Issue No 8, July 1946)



"Daily Express" - February 13th, 1947
Giles Goes on Tour.... No. 4, in Lancashire

This is the first commendatory fillip for the
Royal Pioneer Corps of its kind to appear in the National Press.

" I suppose one day someone'll have a crisis what the poor - Pioneer Corps dont have to clear up. "

(Taken from The Pioneer, Issue No 10, March 1947)



Pte Twinkle RPC, arrives in London on leave from Scotland with a sample of the local brew.

(Taken from The Pioneer, Issue No 15, June 1948)



" Uncle Alf will tell you what to do with it - He's a PIONEER ! "

(Taken from The Pioneer, Issue No 16, October 1948)



" Bout time these dockers realised it ain't worth having a strike while us 'Royal Pioneers' are still 'ere. "

(Taken from The Pioneer, Issue No 21, December 1949)



" Stop telling your mother how they got things done in the cookhouse in the Pioneers ! "

(Taken from The Pioneer, Issue No 28, September 1951)



The 10 Commandments of The Royal Pioneer Corps

1.  Thou shalt not take the name of thy Sgt. Major in vain, lest thy name be inscribed on a '252' and of course of      endurance be prescribed for thee.

2.  Thou shalt not scrounge, nor try the swinging of the lead, lest thou shalt be called upon to repent within the      precincts of the Sgt's Mess, amid many dirty vessels.

3.  Honour thy pay-book and thy pay-clerk all the days of thy service, so that thy credits may be as the sands of      the desert.

4.  Thou shalt not take unto thyself thy comrade's kit nor borrow thereof, in his absence, lest thy sins be thrust      upon thee by the quickness of the hand which blackeneth the eye.

5.  Thou shalt not fritter away thy worldly goods by brag, pontoon nor poker, lest the voice of authority shalt say      unto thee, "Render unto me thy name and numerals."

6.  Thou shalt not line thy purse by the illicit sale of NAAFI cakes, lest thou harbour the wrath of the powers that be,      and thereafter abide in the temple of the glass roof.

7.  Six days shalt thou labour, and on the seventh thou shalt do twice as much.

8.  Thou shalt not consort with publicans and sinners, lest thou fillest thyself to overflowing, for is it not written that      they that drinketh shall surely suffer much of the overhanging.

9.  Thou shalt not kill. If thy cook grieveth thee, thou shalt not strike hip and thigh, but shalt make the complaint      through the channels called proper, whereby man expecteth little and receiveth less.

10. And it shall come to pass, that when thy group cometh, thou shalt pass into the street called "Civvy" and take       unto thyself strange garments, and study the dole and the drawing thereof.

Henceforth and evermore.

(Taken from The Royal Pioneer, Issue No 42, March 1955)



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